So.. I have some lyrics that popped into my head while I was driving. Best performed a capella, with deep feeling.
I’d make a video to go with this but wait what the hell am I thinking I have no spare time. One day I’ll be independently wealthy and I will do silly things all day! (And donate a lot to charity)
How sweet the sound
That fries two eggs like these!
Melt on some cheese
And lay them down
On toast, with hot sauce, please…
(to the tune of Amazing Grace, of course)
Ever open your eyes in the morning and just know, for certain, that no good will come out of the day? That you have things to do, but you are going to muddle through your standard procrastinations and find yourself still schlumping around when you notice with confused horror that the sun has already set again?
It can happen. It can even happen when you have the kind of life/job/etc. where you have to go somewhere and interact with people, but if you don’t, it can be even worse.
I was googling the word “intractable”, just to make sure I wasn’t misusing it too egregiously in the post I just put up… and right there, the fifth result on the very first page, was a hiccup cure.
Doesn’t everyone who’s ever had the hiccups want to know a cure? And this is not just “my grandma always said breathing into a paper bag would do it, and it seemed to work sometimes”, but an abstract of a paper on the NIH.gov website.
Take one simple conversation with a neighbor, add a few late night walks in the dark, and it develops into a complete utopian/dystopian vision of the not-so-distant future.
First, the conversation: we were talking about everyday marital strife, and she mentioned how her husband wants to redo the roof himself — it’s a relatively straightforward project, he’s retired and has the time, and they’d save a lot of money. Her response is that his life cannot possibly be worth the money saved. Result: intractable argument. How can either side prevail? She spoke about couples taking turns “winning” arguments as a way out.
My thought is that it’s actually a question of data. What’s the actual risk that he’d injure or kill himself? If he takes the proper precautions (like a safety line, ladder spotter, etc.), can he make working on the roof safer than driving the car to the store? If yes, her argument goes away. If not — particularly if amateur roof work is dangerous even if the homeowner believes they’re taking precautions — then she wins.
I remember finding the Internet Anagram Server, some years ago, and (of course) plugging in my own name to check all the possibilities. It’s a good one for anagrams:
But I was soon to realize that not everyone’s name has so many interesting and (mostly) pleasant possibilities.
You might expect a political post here, but I’m staying away from all that for now.
Instead, I’d like to share a sort of torture technique (I know, this sounds like I’m discussing US politics again, but bear with me) that I thought up for the benefit of my little sister, long ago.
Here’s how it works:
This will make more sense with an example.
Once, long ago, in a land far, far away from where I live today, I waited with one or more of my siblings in the family sedan while one or more of our parents ran into one or more of the nearby shops to enact one or more unknown transactions.
The memory is a bit fuzzy.
But nearby, there was a GNC store — one of those odd places selling bottle after bottle plastered with statements which have not been evaluated by the FDA, containing vitamin supplements, herbal remedies, essential minerals and other products not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, but nonetheless startlingly expensive.
And for some reason, we started trying to come up with what the letters “G.N.C.” might represent, and somehow one of us dug into our Catholic upbringing and came up with “Jesus, Mary & Joseph”. Doesn’t work, you say? Well, try it “Geezus, Nary & Chofus”. Stir in a thick Irish brogue, rasp the voice up a bit, and belt it out with unflappable authority and a strong note of outrage, and you’ve got a truly magnificent exclamation.
I’m still puzzling over exactly what I’m going to put here long term, but I have some ideas to get rolling. I figure even a scattershot approach will still serve a purpose.